Lena H. Nghiem

Edit Content

Lena H. Nghiem

Hello! I’m Lena. Welcome to my writing website and higher calling—to carry the message of hope, healing, and recovery. I was a depressed, lost soul, and through the help of others, I found a new model of living that has profoundly changed my life for the better. I am indebted to those who guided me and were driven to pay it forward. The purpose of this space is to encourage others to look within, to help those suffering from loneliness, restlessness, and discontent, and to aid those struggling with anxiety, anger, fear, depression, addiction, trauma, mental illness, and suicidal ideation. I believe that when we honestly look at our behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and belief systems—and work with them—we can alleviate the causes of our suffering and bring joy and happiness.


What It Was Like to Experience Psychosis

There are a few important things I want people to better understand about psychosis. People with psychotic disorders aren’t inherently violent or irrational; they experience reality differently than others—often temporarily. My psychotic episode started with mixed moods, where I was manic, irritable, and depressed. Even when I’m manic, I still suffer, as the manic energy drives the depression. And I’m even more aware that my depression prevents me from doing most of the things my manic side screams at me to do. I developed severe paranoia and became incredibly isolated and barely left my bedroom. I couldn’t write anything and could barely form a regular sentence. I stood before my mirror for hours, scratching my face because I thought something was hidden inside. I have trouble expressing ideas and communicating what I want or need. The voices in my head are loud, saying I’m a huge burden and David will die because I will kill him. I was out of my mind. I called Quynh because she is his best friend. I got her voicemail. I could only manage to say two words, “I’m scared” Then I broke down crying and hung up. I was horrified by what I just did. I called David at work but couldn’t talk, making me cry harder. David left the job to come home to help me.

Psychosis is not a disorder in and of itself but rather a symptom arising from my bipolar disorder. Psychotic, paranoid thoughts are unrealistic beliefs about my husband dying. It’s tough to talk me out of such ideas, so I need to know the first signs of my paranoid thoughts. Otherwise, I may make another phone call or send an email to someone who truly cares about me, which could hurt or end my relationship. Psychosis is terrifying! The more I’m aware of these thoughts, the easier it will be to remind myself that they mean that I’m experiencing psychotic symptoms and need to treat bipolar disorder first by taking Zyprexa.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top